Motherless child

Malta - motherless child article

Yngwie Malmsteen wrote a song called “Motherless Child” years ago. Now I know how it feels.

I lost my mother earlier this decade. I also lost my favorite aunt; someone I was really close to a few years prior.

You don’t ever recover from death. The older I get, the more I realize that there’s only two things that really matter in life – death of a loved one and bad health.

Why a motherless child?

Yeah, I’m an adult. I’ve been an adult for quite a long time and by today’s standards, I’m considered highly successful. I’ve had a successful marriage so far. My son served his country and is already on his own, despite being quite young still. And we’re in the top 5% of the country financially despite still being in our 40s.

But, I still have tons of regrets. I was never close to my mother. In fact, my wife was very close to my mother and considerably closer to her than I was. Which is great.

But sad for me because once someone dies, you don’t get to talk to them again. You don’t get to spend time with them again. That’s it. It’s completely over.

My mother wanted to travel the world. She got to see Europe twice before she died. Then she died.

She and my wife would talk for hours. I haven’t discussed this with my wife, but I’m pretty sure my mother influenced my wife when it came to traveling.

Now we make a point to leave the country at least once a year to a country we haven’t been to before. That featured image is of Malta. I took it from a small boat.

Malta’s gorgeous, despite being a tiny set of islands. I would like to go back and see more of it.

You got to live before you die

Life is short, my friends. I say this a lot and for most people, it goes in one ear and out the other. You got to do what you got to do. That means something different for each person.

For my wife, it’s traveling. For me, it’s art – both my music and now my drawings.

I just started taking drawing seriously in February and already am decent. Not where I want to be of course, but decent.

Musically, I’m very proud of where I’m at.

The thing is, I wrote all this stuff after my mother died. She had no idea how far I’ve progressed when it comes to composition and orchestration. She also didn’t know that I became a decent pianist.

My mother lived long enough to see us make our first million. It’s one of my proud accomplishments. Honestly though, I’d much rather be scraping by but touring the world with my music than have a comfortable stash of money.

You and I have different goals in life because you and I are different people. Not at all implying one of us is better than the other. Only different.

I’m telling you, you got to just go for it if you haven’t already. Don’t die with regrets, my friends.

What defines success to you?

I say this as someone who is great with money but has no idea how to sell records. I don’t see myself as a successful man because I measure success differently than other people. Sure, I’m really good at investing. But selling records is way more important to me.

What would my mother say if she were alive today? Would she like my music? I think so because she loved Beethoven and Chopin. She also loved Italian opera.

I’m not doing this for her though. I’m doing it for me. I’ve always wanted to be a good composer. I’m already a pretty good musician. But as a composer, very few people know I exist. We don’t have that many views and we haven’t had that many sales.

That’s something I’m working on. I need to learn how to sell my music. The whole promote your work on social media thing seems like a waste of time to me.

So no, I don’t see myself as successful yet. I’ll see myself as successful when I can quit consulting and go into art full-time.


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie.

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