Why self-talk matters

self talk matters

In my previous article, I talked about how Ted always explained why he can’t do things. Ted has negative self-talk. He’ll tell you why he can’t do something before he even begins. Therefore, he’s already at a disadvantage in life.

You’ll also meet winners in life and you’ll notice the way they talk. They frame their chances in a positive direction. Instead of thinking how they can’t do something, they’re thinking how they can do something. If they can’t figure out how to do something, they’ll find someone who can.

That’s why self-talk matters. People with positive self-talk will talk themselves into how they can achieve things. People with negative self-talk, like Ted, have already failed before they even tried to do it.

Ted is convinced I’m lucky

Ted is absolutely convinced I’m lucky. What he refuses to see is how much hard work it takes me to get where I’m at.

For instance, I got the same genetics anyone else has. Ted can afford to lose about thirty pounds. I’m right where I want to be.

Ted walks. I walk too. However, I’m also alternating between lifting really heavy weights and lifting for endurance. I even learned how to get my cardio in by lifting weights. (Low weights, lots of reps, very short breaks).

I’m in there four or five times a week. Sometimes even six, depending on how busy I get with my band. He’s in there zero times a week. Oh wait. He doesn’t have a gym membership because he feels like he doesn’t have the motivation to join a gym.

Let me repeat that last line. He feels like he doesn’t have the motivation to join a gym. Doesn’t that sound to you like bitch talk? That’s what happens when you eat too much soy.

Yet, Ted’s convinced it’s because I have better genetics than he does. Which of course is a load of horseshit. But that’s his self-talk. He’s an excuse factory instead of a doer.

Winners appear to be naturally motivated

On the other hand, you’ll run into winners. They have all this motivation and if you’re wondering where it comes from, I’ll explain.

Winners have passion. They follow that passion and let it lead them to success. What you don’t hear is what they tell themselves.

Some have daily mantras that they tell themselves. Personally, I don’t need motivation. All I want to do is play my guitar, and I know that by doing all the right things, it gives me more time to play my guitar.

I know that sounds silly, but hear me out. I manage my finances and manage my health. Finances and health are two of the most important things in your life. Actually, let’s get real – health is number one.

I don’t have blah days where I don’t want to work out. I’m always hearing from other people “I don’t feel like working out today.” Well, stop being a little bitch. That’s bad self-talk. Knock it off.

Change your self-talk into something positive. Instead, tell yourself what you’re going to accomplish and do it.

Self-talk matters

My self-talk used to remind me to write every morning. Now, I don’t even need the self-talk. I just write every morning because I created that habit. Writing every morning has become like brushing my teeth and dental flossing. It’s now just something I do.

The same can be said for practicing working out. It’s just something I do. I don’t have that bitch self-talk that says “I don’t feel like lifting today.” It’s gone. That came from nipping that negative self-talk in the bud early on.

Control your self-talk, and you’ll have a better life. That comes for everything.

Note that you can use this for how you deal with talking to the opposite sex and your finances too. Use it to develop a skill set you’ve always wanted to acquire. Use positive self-talk to improve your life. You’ll be surprised what you can accomplish when you get that inner voice to work for you, not against you.


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie.

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