Three types of men

Castle in Slovenia

There are basically three types of men. You have your cartoon males. You have your beta males. And of course you have your alpha males.

We are pretty much percentages of each one. I used to be very cartoon male and had to learn how to be more alpha to keep me out of jail. Yes, the path I was headed, I would have most likely ended up either in jail or dead on the streets. I know it was stupid now, but looking back, that’s how I used to be.

Knowing these definitions will make your life better. When an alcoholic realizes he’s an alcoholic, only then can he make the decision to live with it or control it. You can also apply this concept to masculinity.

Why knowing the three types of men is important

If you want to live a normal life, more power to you. Controlling other peoples’ lives is the absolute last thing I want to do. I believe in freedom, including the freedom to fuck up your own life. If that’s what you want, more power to you.

Yes, I’m being serious. I take freedom quite seriously.

That said, before making a conscious decision to become more alpha, you first have to know the three types of men.

First, you have your alpha males. They control their own lives.

You also have your beta males. Life controls them.

Last, you have your cartoon males. They are more like a cartoon character than a complete male. These are the guys who are exaggerations, and to everyone else, they look comical. Until of course they end up in jail. Then, they’re not so funny.

Nobody is 100% of anything

We are all just percentages of the three. I don’t like being an alpha male all the time. Sometimes, I enjoy it when other people make decisions. For instance, right now, I’m the only songwriter for Astral Eyes. I’m actually the only full-time member now.

But, I’m not 100% of the band. I hire a lot of full-time musicians to record their session work. And you know what I tell them? Play how you think it sounds good to you.

And I let them.

It’s fun to me to hear what others do when you let them do their things. I enjoy humanity, and I absolutely love talented people!

I find the best and the brightest talent and I let them do their thing. That makes them happy since they don’t have some asshole micromanaging their musicality.

I have a song that we’ll release in a few weeks. I just got out of the recording studio. My producer doubles as a drummer/percussionist as that’s his formal training. He plays in a punk band and also an 18-piece jazz band. He knows his shit. A few decades back, he really honed his chops by playing in a 3-piece jazz band on a cruise ship every single night for six months straight.

When he gets that creative spark, I get out of his way and let him work his magic. I trust that he knows what he’s doing. That’s very beta of me, but that’s quite OK.

That’s an example of how I don’t like to be alpha all the time.

Another example? Sometimes, I want my friends to think of something clever to do and I want to come along for the ride. I don’t want to be the guy making all the plans all the time. Sometimes, I want to enjoy someone else’s idea of a good time.


I don’t believe marriage is for everyone. But if you’re going to get married, be sure to marry the right person.

I’m actually married to an alpha. Ironically, it was she who got me to bump up my game. I know I had more to lose so I had to act accordingly.

You know what happened when I became more alpha? My value as a man increased big time, which indirectly caused my net worth to skyrocket. Also my wages went way up. No coincidence whatsoever.

I’ve also been propositioned by better levels of women. I’ve become attractive to more attractive women than I’ve ever been attractive to in my life. It helps that I have a decent net worth. It also helps that I exude confidence.

As for marriage, it’s made our marriage work. She loves the fact that I now make important decisions without breaking a sweat. When we met, I was a cartoon male with a ridiculously high IQ. She finds intelligence sexy, and in the back of her mind, she knew I’d “grow up.”

I did. Big time.

I learned self-control and I learned home accounting. The latter is a very much underappreciated skill and can mean the difference between being a millionaire in your 40s or a millionaire in your 60s. But more on that another day.

Steps to get there

I have no problems whatsoever with you deciding to stay a beta male and enjoying your life as one. More power to you.

For cartoon males though, yes. They’re a problem because they cause 99% of the violent crime in this country. They’re actually physically dangerous.

I knew this first hand because that’s where I almost ended up.

First though, I learned to control my temper. Then, I learned personal finance. We had a kid out of wedlock and wanted to raise him into a fine citizen.

I didn’t know what an alpha male was. But I did know that I had to make at least six figures and I had to manage my money. We also believed that our son deserved to live in a decent neighborhood away from gangs and thugs. Then when we moved into better neighborhoods, we made sure that by junior high, he’d be going to not just good, but outstanding schools.

Does that matter? Yes it does. Big time!

So what does all this have to do with the three types of men? Well, let me define them once again. An alpha male controls his life. A beta male lets life control him. And a cartoon male resembles more a cartoon character than a complete male.

Which one do you think would be the best for raising children? Which one do you think will have the best life? And if you’re a woman reading this, learn to recognize the difference between the three types of men and choose wisely before selecting your mate.

We have free will. Choose wisely my friends.

Astral Eyes logo

About the images

These are both images from Slovenia I shot a few weeks back. We take traveling very seriously now as we’re at the point in our lives where we want to actually spend our money rather than horde it like greedy idiots.

Slovenia is gorgeous and I highly recommend it, especially if you’re into caves. They have this one cave that’s so big that you can take a train inside of it and it’s like a ten minute train ride.

What does this have to do with the three types of men? Everything. Like I said, alpha males control their own lifes. Betas let life control them. And jails are full of cartoon males. Take a guess which type of man will be taking his wife around the world in his 40s.

Slovenia castle for the three types of men article


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie.

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