The lack of standards will fuck up your life

a blog post about the lack of standards

The lack of standards will fuck up your life. You need to have standards. Let me explain.

I’ve had the same friends forever. Every once in awhile, I’ll pick up someone new.

In all these years, I’ve found a sadly high number of people who are regurgitators rather than thinkers. They’ll simply mimic beliefs of a certain group and not really do the work required to really learn something.

My former neighbor the feminazi was a perfect example. She could have been a meme. She only regurgitated crap from her other feminazi friends.

All men are shit

Of course life reinforced those beliefs. All men are shit. She never spent time on introspection, even for a second wondering if just maybe she attracted shitty men.

Men do this too

All women are sluts. All women lie.

Really? Have you ever considered that you only attract slutty and/or lying women?

Having standards vs lack of standards

It all comes down to setting standards for yourself. But before standards can work, you have to fix your self-talk. If you’re constantly beating yourself up, you’ll attract someone who treats you like shit. Or takes you for granted.

Spend some time on introspection. Take some of your past relationships with your family, friends, and lovers. Look for patterns.

Once you find the patterns, take a good amount of time to think why these patterns started. Then, think of how you can fix them.

Patterns will repeat indefinitely until you change them

Patterns will repeat forever. Unless you fix them.

If you had nothing but healthy relationships early on, you’re blessed. You’ll put up with much less bullshit than the rest of us.

Whereas that’s great, you’d be a small minority. Most of us grew up with some kind of dysfunction that we’re either trying to fix or trying to run from.

Process to fix anything

My wife and I work on each other. Neither of us grew up in emotionally healthy families. Rather than repeat the bullshit behaviors though, we decided to change.

You create a process. First, identify the problem. Then, do what has to be done to fix it.

Those who run from their problems or those who project them on everyone else will never fix their problems.

And once you start fixing your problems, start setting your standards higher. You’ll find your lack of standards disappearing. You’ll also find that people will treat you better because you no longer put up with shit.

About the featured image

Shot in Maui back in 2016. We have two vacations planned this year – another Caribbean trip and a trip to Eastern Europe. I think this blog needs a lot more pictures!

If you set high standards for yourself, my friends, your life can be so much better. Keep your head up high. And keep your standards high. Don’t settle for mediocrity.


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie.

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