Surviving shit testing

If you’re wondering what shit testing is, this article will open your eyes to something in life you’ve had to endure many times. I’m guessing you’re a guy, but if you’re a girl, this will benefit you too. Keep reading.

What is shit testing?

Shit testing is something generally done by women to men. It involves a test of character. It can range from playful to downright nasty.

An example of a playful shit test would be something like “is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?” Careful with your answer. The wrong answer will count as three strikes against you. Answer correctly and you’ll love the results.

Why do women shit test?

This one’s simple. Evolution. If you don’t pass their shit tests, you’re definitely not mating material.

Of course, I’m assuming you don’t live in some third world shithole where women have no choice in choosing their mates. In countries where women are free, it’s in their best interest to test suitable mates. Simply put, they’d be fools not to because they have more to lose than you do.

How do I pass shit tests?

First, stay cool, because cool guys get laid. What would James Bond do? You already know what he’d do – he’d stay cool and win the fucking game.

I used to get this one a lot – “I don’t date guys shorter than me.”

“Oh, I don’t want to fuck you. I want you to come to my show because you’re hot and you’ll get guys to come see me.”

You have no idea how effective that was. I regret most of my game was in the early 90s before I had a digital camera.

No matter what the shit test is, the concept is to be cool. Cool guys win because they’re cool.

Evolutionary, it totally makes sense. Women want a man who can handle really bad situations. Like if a cave bear came into the cave. If you’re the type of guy who freaks out and hides behind a rock, should she mate with you? Hell no! Your genetics don’t deserve to carry on to the next generation.

However, in your case, you’re cool. No matter what she throws at you, retain your confidence. If you’re a funny guy, turn it humorous. If you get angry, you lose. Getting angry is almost as bad as being defeated by the shit test. Move on to the next girl as you struck out with this one.

How does this benefit women?

This benefits women because I keep hearing from women that y’all can’t find quality single men. Ladies, I’m attempting to help men turn into alphas. If anyone wins in this, you do! Imagine being able to have your choice of alpha candidates instead of being stuck with a bunch of fucking betas.

Other situations where you get shit tested

Life shit tests you. Job interviews will involve some shit testing. So will joining a new clique. So will applying for a home or business loan. You’re definitely not worthy if you can’t handle the shit testing.

As a musician, I’ve encountered more shit testing than non-artistic folks will ever know. And that includes hard-core players. Nothing phases me. Heckling, haters, jealous former friends turned enemies, you name it. I’ve survived it all.

The key – keep cool. If you let the shit testing get to you, you’ve failed.

And if you want to have more specific examples for shit tests by women, sorry my friend. Her boyfriend ain’t got a Ferrari and I play a mean guitar.


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie, and he can still throw a football

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