Language has power

net worth vs cash flow

Language has power. Actually, let me rephrase that. Language has a tremendous amount of power.

You can generally hear the difference between a winner and a loser by their language. Losers have a weak language, and never learn to control their inner voice. You’ll hear them say everything from “I can’t” to “that’s not fair” a lot. That’s loser speak.

Winners will rephrase their words. It’s funny because some of the most successful managers will pretend to be humble and make their employees feel good about themselves. Inside though, their self-talk is pumping them up. They don’t need the constant pat on the back though as they already know they’re awesome.

Does that sound conceited to you? If it does, should it?

Imagine this scenario. You’re given a task with a deadline and you have no idea how to do it. A loser will immediately feel defeated, then actually voice his frustration and hopelessness.

Now a winner will refrain it. He’ll start saying positive things, like “this is an interesting challenge.” If he knows there’s no way in hell he could pull it off alone, he’ll think of someone who could assist him.

“But that’s cheating.” Yeah, if you’re a loser. Winners know how to play as a team. After all, we are social animals.

Language has power – faking confidence

A lot of my life, I had no fucking idea what I was doing. I winged it half the time. Yet, here I am, by no means a smashing success, but relatively I’m doing pretty ok. I got a wonderful wife, a wonderful son, I’m considerably healthier than most people decades younger than me (literally), and am in the top 5% of net worth in America.

No, not rich yet. I’ll take my foot off the gas when I get an eight figure net worth.

However, I was born quite average. Middle-class, short, balding, and blind as a bat, I didn’t have much going for me other than a high IQ and a work ethic.

So don’t think for a second that life is not fair. I’ve met people with at least 40-50 IQ points lower than mine who smoked me in net worth. I’ve met guys who are missing limbs who have a flatter stomach than mine. If you commit to something, you will be good at it. Period.

But the thing is, you have to commit to it. You can’t half ass it.

Anyways, I’d say “yes” to everything whether or not I could do it. At worse, I got fired. I was so good with people that if I got fired, I’d find something else.

Usually though, I pulled it off. You know how I did it? I tricked myself into thinking that I could do it.

This goes for everything

This goes for everything from making money to meeting women. Frame your language correctly and your odds increase big time.

Note that I said odds. Nothing in life is a guarantee. The best you can do is increase your odds.

Anyways, back to language and power. You know a great example? Tyrion Lannister. That’s why I used that picture of Dubrovnik (where they shoot some of the Game of Thrones).

Notice the words Tyrion uses. Tyrion has every disadvantage in the book. His father hates him. His sister hates him. He’s a dwarf, and in those times, dwarfs were considered freaks.

Yet, he still has a tremendous amount of power.

Listen to his self-talk. Sure, there are times he feels overwhelmed. Rather than letting himself be defeated, he stacks the odds in his favor.

He’s so charismatic that despite all his obstacles, he makes the best of his circumstances.

Sure, Tyrion is a fictional character. But a damn good one, and one we can relate to.

If you’d rather I used a real character, let’s not go into my life. Let’s go into yours. Think of someone you know personally who had the odds stacked against him or her, yet that person still kicks ass.

Now, think of the language that person uses. Notice anything different about their words?

My turn

Now, I’ll bring back two reoccurring characters in my writing – Ted the beta male and Suzie the feminazi. Both of them had opportunities in life. Ted has a high IQ. Suzie used to be quite attractive and once married a rich man. Both squandered their talents, and are bitter because of it.

If you listen to either one, both of them use defeatist words. Ted constantly kicks himself and it’s obvious in his language. Suzie hates successful men and she spills it out of her mouth every chance she gets.

The funny thing is, despite both of them being old, both of them can salvage their futures. With today’s medicine, you never know these days. Both of them could be around another thirty years. That’s a lot of time.

Ted can reframe his words. He can start to say “I can” rather than “I can’t.” When someone offers him a suggestion for improvement, he could consider it rather than immediately saying why it won’t work.

Suzie can take responsibility for her life rather than bitching about successful people having it so much better. She can stop being bitter and looking at successful people as they’re the enemy, and start to think how she could improve herself.

She needs to reframe her language from “those people” to “me.” Rather than hating those people for being successful, she should start looking inwards and fixing her own problems.

Language has power, my friends. Use it wisely.


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie.

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