How to get “Fuck you money”

I can’t tell you how to get rich. That’s someone else. Rich means at least $30 million in net worth. Felix Dennis wrote that book. I’m not rich, and I hate people who talk out of their ass.

It would be like if some morbidly obese guy lectured you on how to get buffed. Well, not really. I am pretty well off. I do have “fuck you money”* and I can tell you how to get that.

How I got fuck you money

I can tell you how I got mine. You need to put your ego aside. Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’s and don’t buy bright and shiny liabilities. You want assets, not liabilities. If it doesn’t make you money, you don’t need it.

So first of all, your car. It’s best not to even have one because cars are liabilities. They go down in value as soon as you take them off the lot. Also, you end up paying for gas and maintenance.

If you absolutely have to have one, get yourself a used Saturn, Honda Accord, Ford Taurus, or something else that’s not flashy that Consumer Reports magazine says is reliable. The other thing about flashy cars is that they attract the type of women who will suck all your money away from you. Liabilities, my friend. You want assets.

Second, you need to start building your asset list. Stocks, real estate, I just wrote an article on a neat little home trick to make you money, because that’s an easy way to give you a big chunk of money.

The rule of thumb – buy assets, dump liabilities. Look for properties that are undervalued. Buy tons of stocks when the market takes a dump. Buy smaller amounts of stocks and keep a lot of cash when the market shoots way up. Do those things alone and you’ll probably make out pretty well.

Who to look for in a spouse

This is extremely important. I cannot stress this enough. If your mate is not financially responsible, you have two choices – force them to allow you to control 100% of the finances, or get a new mate. I am serious. Do not skip this step. I don’t care if this guy is the world’s best pussy eater or if the chick has the world’s nicest titties. Money is more important!

I’m not going to tell you what I did professionally before music but you can read between the lines. I know more about divorce than you do. Money is a bigger problem than infidelity. There. I said it, and I’m saying this with tons of experience. Therefore, take my advice seriously.


The only thing that will wreck your net worth faster than a bad spouse is bad health. Fact – the majority of bankruptcies are due to health. Lose your belly fat, my friend. And juice. Even if you got fuck you money, you won’t be able to enjoy it if you’re in and out of the hospital.

I want you to have fuck you money because it will give you peace of mind. If you have peace of mind, you’re more likely to enjoy art. And if you like art, you just may like our music.

how to get fuck you money

A sunset in Maui, May 2016. My wife and I travel frequently

* “Fuck you money” is simply having enough money where you don’t have to put up with bullshit. For example, if your employer treats you like shit, you can say “fuck you!,” walk out, go to Hawaii for a few weeks, then come back and look for another job without worrying about bills.


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie, and he can still throw a football

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