And if nobody likes you…

I talk a lot about being your own person and not depending on the approval of other people. I’ve said earlier that I could care less whether or not someone likes me or not.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those completely non-agreeable asshole rebels without a clue. If nobody likes you, then you have a serious problem.

So, don’t take my the need to be liked is a weakness article the wrong way. You don’t have to go so extreme that nobody likes you.

I will however stick to my guns and be my own person. I strongly advice people to do the same as people will respect your integrity.

When it applies to art…

I’ve seen the douchebag artists who try to be different just for the sake of being different. They look like poseurs, and nobody respects them. However, every once in awhile, someone breaks all the rules and it’s wonderful.

Beethoven’s and Picasso’s are rare though. They’re once in a lifetime people. Of course in Beethoven’s and Picasso’s cases, they’re once in a century people.

I never claimed to be on either of their levels. I only want to create the type of music that I myself will buy. In the past year, we’ve bought mp3s or CDs from everyone from Marduk to Loreena McKennitt. So I simply compose what I know.

The same can be applied to writing. I remember Anne Rice saying that she writes what she knows, but writes everything she knows. I apply that concept to composition.

If you try to please everyone…

…you lose yourself. You quickly will forget who you really are. I strongly advise against doing that.

However, if nobody likes you…

…then maybe you need to change something about yourself. Maybe you’re too much of an asshole or too much of a bitch.

Out here in the San Francisco area, you get these women who say “you can’t handle a strong woman” after treating everyone around them like complete shit. No, you’re not a strong woman. You’re a bitch. Most people aren’t emotional masochists. If someone treats me like shit, I either call them on it or cut them off. It’s as simple as that.

So I hope nobody read my article and thought you need to be so unique that you’re now intolerable. If that’s what anyone got out of it, they completely missed the point.

You don’t fix one thing by going to the opposite extreme.

If nobody likes you, the problem is more often than not you

If nobody likes you, the problem is more often than not you. We get a lot of these types in San Francisco


Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie.

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