A few marriage tips

It’s funny. I never thought I’d see the day when I actually get asked to give some marriage tips. But this article was actually a request. Well, I’m honored.

Many people we’ve known in real life in the early years bet against us. They didn’t think we’d make it, both professionally and as a couple.

I’ve always been aloof. Well, aloof to others. However, I knew damn well what I was doing all along.

Marriage tips – find the right partner

Anyways, years later, we’re still together and still going strong. I don’t think marriage is for everyone. But for the ones who believe in marriage, first, you have to find the right partner. That’s the first problem most people have.

They marry the wrong person and think they can fix him or her. Guess what? You can’t fix adults. Kids change. Kids grow up. Adults on the other hand don’t.

You might think “well, I met this guy Bob who…”

Yeah, congratulations Einstein. You isolated the exception to the rule and think the exception is now the rule? And take a guess why you keep getting in shitty relationship after shitty relationship.

First and foremost, above all else, find the right partner. If it’s the wrong partner, then don’t even bother reading the rest of this article. You’d be wasting your time.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – it’s no coincidence picking the wrong life mate is #1 in my series on how to fuck up your life.

Keep your identity

marriage tips

Now of my marriage tips, this one ranks second and it’s not coincidental. You need to keep your identity. If you don’t, you’re going to have subconscious resentment and it will destroy your marriage.

Contrary to popular opinion, this happens to both men and women in relationships. One or the other will lose their identity and will become very bitter. I’ve even seen this happen to rich “successful” men. So don’t think there’s only one group this happens to.

I married an alpha. I don’t try to change her. She doesn’t try to change me since she knows that if she killed the artist, well, for one, I no longer exist. For another, I’m gone. Plus most importantly, the artist was the one she fell in love with in the first place.

Don’t go to bed angry

Of my marriage tips, this one is actually from my wife. She said when we started living together, before we got married, that we should never go to bed angry. You can disagree with your partner. That’s OK. Agree to disagree and let it go.

You don’t have to win every single fucking argument. People who do that are fucking annoying. And it’s no coincidence they often have shitty relationships because nobody wants to put up with them. I certainly don’t.

So whatever your problem is, resolve it before you get in bed together. Or simply agree to disagree. It’s more than likely not even that big of a deal anyways. Most things in life aren’t that big of a deal. As humans, we often blow minor things out of proportion.

Have good memories

This one is very important. A dear friend of mine lost his wife to cancer about a year ago. She was fantastic as a person. I really liked her a lot.

I still feel her presence when I go to his house. Why? Because for one, she had a strong presence. And for another, there are pictures of her everywhere because they did so many cool things together!

Look. Like it or not, we’re all going to die. Unless you both die in a car crash together, one of you will outlive the other.

If that sounds morbid, so be it. I’m a realist.

Lay down some pretty good memories and you’ll have something to remember. Plus most importantly, while you’re both still alive, you’ll enjoy your time together more.

Before I got married, I was a serial monogamist. I’d have on and off relationships and the only ones I remember fondly are the ones I had good memories with. No need to wonder why.

Now like I said, marriage isn’t for everyone. But if you’re one of the people who believe in marriage, practice these four things and your marriage will more than likely work.

About

Roman is an artist, composer, writer, and travel junkie.

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